What!? It's been more than a year??

It's hard to believe it's been so long since I've updated this blog about my progress.

I'm sad to report that the HCG Protocol didn't work for me. At least not the way I had dreamed. HCG will help you lose weight, no doubt, but what it won't do is help you keep it off.

By last October, I was down a total of 80 pounds. Today, I'm only down about 30 pounds. In 6 months I gained back 50 pounds! Talk about a yo-yo! Not good, I know. I now see where my mistake was. It's the same thing that would've made having gastric bypass a big mistake. I hadn't learned how to eat right. Portion control was a foreign concept to me. Making a conscious decision to choose what I eat, versus what's available & fast, was something I hadn't fully grasped.

All along, I had planned to join Weight Watchers after I had lost most of the weight. I knew I had to learn some skills, I just didn't know I needed them before I began my HCG journey.

I've finally decided to get my act together, utilize the tools available to me, & try again. I don't consider my gaining back so much weight to be a failure. I know the only way I fail is if I give up & give in. I joined Weight Watchers a few months ago, went to a handful of meetings, saw exactly what I was paying for, deemed it a waste of money (who needs someone trying to sell me the next great thing in body sculpting? I'll pay for nutrition classes, but not to be sold a gadget or gizmo, thankyouverymuch), & I'm working the system on my own. I'm still doing the program, only I'm not paying for the meetings or the online tools I never would use.

I'm only down 12 pounds so far, but I wasn't really serious about until about a month ago. And progress is progress!

The best news is, I've had a change in the way I think about food. It's a turning point for me. "Food is fuel, not fun. " (kind of like another favorite saying "Fish are friends, not food", only without the fish. haha) I have committed myself to making better choices in the things I put in to my body & also my family members bodies. My 8 year old chose to be a vegetarian about 2 years ago, & I've decided he's on to something. So for the past 5 weeks I've been meat-free. I love seeing all the gorgeous colors of fruits & veggies that adorn my counter & I'm trying so many new things I never thought I'd try, let alone like!

Life is GOOD! :)

Nearing the end of this round

Yesterday was my 40th injection for this round, so today & tomorrow I'm sticking with the 500 calorie plan, then on Tuesday I'm moving on to Phase 3. In P3, I get to re-introduce all kinds of goodies! On the very top of my list is:

• coconut
• cheese
• nuts
• anything other than chicken!

I'm almost as giddy as a school girl at the thought of Tuesday night's book club, where fabulous fondue will be served. :D :D :D

So, for this round, I lost a total of 33 pounds, on the nose. My losses were a little slower this round, but the results are still amazing! So far I'm down 60 pounds since January!!

Wednesday is my 9 year anniversary with my best friend & sweetheart. We'll be celebrating by heading to the Temple to do some family sealings & remember the covenants we made with one another so many years ago. Afterward, we'll go to some nice restaurant where I plan to enjoy a delicious steak & my company. :)

The almost ironic part of it all is, as anxious as I was to make my way in to the 100's with this round, my scale didn't agree with me. At yesterday morning's weigh in (my last injection weight or LIW), I was 200.2. I kind of feel like someone's pulled a fast one on me or something, being *that* close, but I'm okay with it. It just means that in 7 more weeks, the only numbers I'll be seeing on the scale from now on, FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE (!!), will start with a '1'. Now that I can live with! :D


Though the disembodied head is a little creepy, this t-shirt embodies my thoughts. And though it's taken more than just thought to get me half way there, that's exactly where I find myself. I'm half way to my long-term goal! Sixty pounds down, another sixty to go.

Upon reflection, I find I have a lot more faith in my ability to do good things for myself than ever before. I've heard it said, & even repeated it more than a few times, "if you think you can, you can, and if you think you can't, you can't". In this battle to find myself, regain my health, build my faith, & begin to fully realize that I can do so much better (& that I'm deserving of so much better than I'm used to), my attitude is vitally important! Combined with hard work, & of course prayer, I can do anything! :D

VLCD25

After deciding not to pay attention to the days as they pass (it makes being on the diet a bit harder if you're aware of exactly what day you're on at all times) when I log my daily weigh-ins, I was pleasantly surprised to find I'm on day 25 of the very low calorie portion of the diet. :) As of this morning, I'm down 21.6 pounds!

My losses have slowed dramatically over the past week & a half, after my period graced me with its presence a whole 2 weeks early, so I'm hoping to get back up there in the 1 pound loss per day average again soon.


Another thing that I haven't been keeping track of is my total weight loss since starting the protocol in January, so when I was thinking about it the other day I figured up that I've lost nearly 50 pounds since I began this journey less than 4 months ago!! Amazingly, I'm 60 pounds lighter than I was this time last year. Just typing that makes me smile. :D


My clothes are looking pretty baggy on me these days. Since I decided I wouldn't go out & spend a bunch of money on new clothes until I was finished with this round, I instead went out & spent it on a new 'do. :) For years now I've wanted to put a little color in my hair, yet was never brave enough to take the plunge. I've done some crazy things with my hair in the past (going through cosmetology school umpteen years ago will do that, along with supporting a friend & raising money for St. Baldricks & shaving it off entirely a few years back), so this little streak of color shouldn't have seemed like such a big deal. Well I finally took the plunge & let my little wild streak show on the outside, instead of just tamping it down on the inside like I tend to do.




The little girls in my class at Church yesterday were very sweet with all their compliments. There mothers, not so much. ;) (no one had anything bad to say, but I did get some looks) That's alright though... I'm happy with it & I'm glad I finally did it.

Lacking in the Math Department

I didn't think I was that bad at math until recently. I've been miscalculating my weight loss numbers, so the other day's 10 pound loss was actually more like 9. I know, I know... it's these 10th's of a pound that are throwing me off, I think. Someone needs to let the scale makers know there are 16 ounces in a pound & they need to make a scale that reflects this new knowledge. I guess reading down to 1/10th of a pound is better than the alternative of 1 pound increments. *GASP!!*

So, here are my new numbers.


As of this morning, I'm on my 8th day of the VLCD & I'm down 11 pounds. (!!!)

Amazingly, I not only made some really yummy looking raspberry cookie bars, as well as some to-die-for white chocolate chip macadamia nut cookies for last night's book club I was hosting, but I managed to send off the leftovers with the husband to work today, to share with his co-workers today, without even a teeny morsel crossing my lips.

See that Kit Kat & Twix in the front... yeah, THAT'S what I'm talkin' 'bout!

Last night my dreams were about food. All night. Cookies, & cakes, & all things that are good (bad). Yesterday, I visited Freed's Bakery just to look around, inhale the sweetness that engulfs you the moment you open the door. Heaven, I tell you! I actually found myself looking (drooling) at the cookies in the glass cases, mentally trying to come up with an excuse for being in there. The girl behind the counter was on the phone, so thankfully I had both time to drool & time to come up with a creative excuse for my presence while not walking out with something (or an order for something) in my hands. Maybe this was the cause of such torturous dreams.

Note to self: Don't visit the best cakery in town when you're on a diet.

We'll Just Call It 10

This morning's weigh in revealed another 2 pounds gone! Forever!! I haven't been at this weight in over 8 years!



So that makes the total now 9.6 pounds, which as you know from a prior confession, I'm a rounder when it comes to the scale. Considering that's only based on 4 days of restraint (& if we're being honest here, I wasn't perfect yesterday... more on that later), I'm very pleased! This time in my last round with hcg I only down 6 pounds.

So yesterday I was out running around with kids & picked up a protein-style double-double (with no cheese, hold the sauce & tomato, with some onion, a teeny bit of ketchup, & some mustard) from In-N-Out Burger for lunch. Can I just say how incredibly YUMMY that was!? We're allowed 3.5 ounces of lean ground beef & that's about right with this burger. My no-no was mixing my veggies. Since it was wrapped in lettuce, I should've skipped on the onion, but who eats a burger without some onion slices on there!? Well, besides the husband, that is...

I'm excited for 8 a.m. tomorrow!! :D

Coconut: How Do I Love Thee?...

This drawing is entitled "Coconut Dreams"... it took me a sec to get it, but gave me a chuckle when I finally did. :)

And miss thee!!

What I wouldn't give for my new favorite night time crunchy snack right about now!? Coconut is so good for you, yet it isn't on protocol. So my recently acquired habit of buying 2 coconuts every few days (& my kids' hysterical laughter at my efforts to find the easiest way to crack one... it's seriously a show they gather to watch around here) must wait for another month or so.

Young coconuts are the bees knees! They aren't found at most grocery stores, but are worth the trek to Whole Foods or (if you're lucky enough to have one in your area) Trader Joes. The juice, of a young coconut is packed FULL of electrolytes & the meat is naturally fat-free & is really delicious.

This ends my (not) paid plug for the consumption of coconuts. :P

P.S. I'm down another 3.4 lbs. as of this morning! :D

VLCD2

That's 'very low calorie day 2', for all you non-hcg speakers. ;)

This morning's weigh-in was a good one. I'm down 2.4 pounds, which I'll take any day of the week! If only every weigh-in were so good! Still, I can't complain. My average daily losses were about 1 pound, which is amazing!

Last round I had headaches for the first 3 days, but so far I'm doing alright there. I would love to skip over that entirely! I was a little bit tired at mid-day, but only feeling a little bit drained is an improvement from my normal.

My stomach protested a bit last night & let me know it was empty, but other than that I had no signs of hunger all day yesterday. This round I've decided to lower the dose of hcg to see what happens, since I'm told that sometimes less is more, so I'm on the look-out for any signs of the lower dosage not working for me. I've heard there can be better results with a lower dosage, so I guess we'll see.

For those of you on the hcg protocol, I'm using 5000 iu's of Hucog & am doing 150 iu's for my dosage. Last round I used the same product, only I used 200 iu's for my dosage. Since 200 is typically the highest dosage, I wanted to see if lowering it would produce different (hopefully better) results. We shall see!

Enjoyed My First Steak Day!

Okay, so not really. Because who really wants to be forced to drink water until you're floating, then for dinner force down as much steak as you can stomach!? Not me, I learned yesterday. Not me.


During this phase of the protocol, a.k.a. Phase 3 (P3, for all you hcg'ers), if you go more than 2.1 pounds over your last injection weight (LIW), you have to do what's called a "steak day". Drink as much water as you can stand all day, then for dinner you have the largest steak you can find along with an apple or a raw tomato. The next morning, you'll find yourself back where you need to be.



I admit it worked. Really well, actually. I was down 2.8 pounds this morning, which is .4 pounds below my LIW. Now I know my body can't handle the two bowls of broccoli cheese soup I naughtily ate the day before I wound up with a steak day. Good to know. Though I kind of already guessed it might be a problem.

Realizations

This time last year, I was working towards jumping through all the hoops my insurance company required to approve the gastric bypass surgery I was hoping to have done. It felt like a long, arduous task, but I managed to make it through the required period of time & in to the doctor's office for the consultation.

While there, I spoke with a counselor who gave me some very good advice. She opened my eyes to something I hadn't truly considered before. If I wasn't ready to change my lifestyle, I would be doing myself a disservice by going forward with this surgery. All patients will lose weight. This was not the issue. The issue was unless I make a complete lifestyle change, spending at least 30 minutes a day in exercise, eating nutritious foods, being constantly conscious of what I put in to my body, I had better count on gaining almost all (if not all & then some, if history truly does repeat itself) the weight back within 5 years of this surgery.

I also realized gastric bypass is a last ditch effort. It's for people who have tried everything else, & nothing has worked. I realized it's taking the hard way out. Big time. I've watched three of my family members, who have had various versions of this surgery, deal with a plethora of side effects from a very serious problem with a stricture, to dumping (you don't want to know), to blood infections, to constant hunger... pretty much almost every possible side effect listed except death.

Knowing all this, I was still headed down that same road. I was sick & tired of being sick & tired all the time. I wanted to lose the weight so badly, yet every time I did I would quickly gain all of it back plus an extra 10 or 15 new "friends" would come join the party. I was willing to do just about anything to fix this.

After speaking with the counselor, I realized I had some "me" things to work on before I could go ahead with the surgery. This was last summer when I met with her. My next appointment in that office would have been for the post-op check up. I was so close to finally making this happen. It's what I'd been working towards for so many long months before! It was at that point I completely backed away from it. I needed to work on me. I couldn't go through with it, knowing I hadn't made that committment to a lifestyle change yet, only to cause myself further hardship by going through with the surgery. And I'm so glad I didn't go through with it.

Today, I realized something new. I don't qualify for the surgery anymore. With the work I've been doing, trying to get my life (weight, self-control, etc.) back in my own hands, I couldn't get my insurance company to pay for this surgery even if I wanted it! I don't meet the qualifications anymore. The only one I ever met was the one concerning BMI. Thankfully, I have no health conditions that would qualify me for this. That is to say, I didn't have them yet. With what I've been doing, my chances of dealing with those weight-related health issues have dropped dramatically. And the more I work, the less my chances are of EVER having to deal with them.

To me, this is much greater news than any number on the scale! For the first time in a long time, I feel like I know where I'm going. And I like it. :)

A BIG day, a BIG deal

Today I took my final injection for this round. When I last posted, I planned for today to be my last injection day anyway. However, the morning after my last post showed a 1.8 pound loss, so I changed my mind about stopping early & decided I'd talk the husband in to taking me out for fondue instead.

I'm telling you, seeing a nice drop on the scale is ADDICTIVE!!

I had a small loss the following day, but this morning I woke up to another BIG loss. 3.8 pounds! Thank you stomach bug!! :P This unpleasant episode actually caused me to lose enough to get me to the magic number ~ 34 pounds.
After re-reading Pounds & Inches today, the guidelines are 40 injections, or 34 pounds is where you should stop your current round. I reached the 34 pounds in 38 days (not bad!) & so today I'm done with this portion of the protocol. I get to move on to CHEESE!!! I get to have that scrumptious fondue after all! :D Hello, Tuesday (& some of the funnest group of girls out there), here I come!



I feel like I've accomplished something big. I know I've said this before, but I'm really feeling it today. It's a big day for me! :D Though I know I won't reach my goal of losing 40 pounds by April 1st (when my little brother comes home from his mission), I'm very pleased with how far I've come.

Holding steady

I'm back visiting the wall, unfortunately, but I'm doing alright. I'm holding steady at just under 28 pounds lost in 28 days of doing the protocol.

I've had a few people wonder how I plan to keep it all from coming back after I'm done with the very low calorie part of the protocol. Though I have to admit I'm more of a "hoper" than a believer, according to Dr. Simeons (the man who discovered the relationship between weight loss & hcg) if you do this just the way he's instructed, you are resetting your body weight to this new weight.

It has something to do with the hypothalmus gland in your brain &, though I can't remember the exact details, he claims you can maintain the weight loss for life as long as you are committing yourself to changing your eating habits for life. And this is the plan.

I don't want to be unhealthy for the rest of my life! I want to LIVE it, not just be a spectator. I'm sure those of you who've dealt with weight problems can totally relate. It's time to kick this thing in the sweet spot & that's exactly what I'm doing here. I'm giving myself a boost & a head start with this protocol.

So far, I've lost a dress size or so. My sweetheart can see a difference, though I really can't. I haven't spent enough time in front of a mirror for the past 10+ years to be able to notice a difference. I've been avoiding them, for obvious reasons.

I'm thrilled to be where I'm at so far. Only about 2 more weeks left on this portion of the protocol, then on to Phase 3 where I get to add a lot of other foods back in to my diet (pretty much everything but starches & sugars). That will last for 3 weeks & then I'll move on to Phase 4. In Phase 4, I will slowly start adding starches & sugars back in to my diet. After 3 weeks of this, I can go back on the protocol for another 5+ weeks to try to lose another 30+ pounds.

Last night we had a few friends come over & the husband referred to my weight loss as "a lot". Afterwards I had to explain to him why he shouldn't do that anymore. Being a big girl, it takes dropping a lot of weight to actually see a difference, & 27 pounds just isn't a lot. Not at my size. I'm afraid people will feel badly for not noticing (which they really shouldn't... I just know I would if someone said they'd lost a lot of weight & I couldn't tell), or worse that they'll start noticing. I hate being the center of attention. Ever.

I'm a Rounder

I'll confess it now. The only thing I ever round is my weight loss. And only if it's being rounded up. If I'm two ounces away from having lost 19 pounds, I'm calling it 19 pounds. When the husband rounds things (the time, mainly) it irritates me to no end. But since it's my weight loss, I'm allowing rounding. ;o)

So, as of this morning, I'm down 19 whole, stinkin' pounds!! I had gained a pound a few days ago, then yesterday was stalled at the same weight as the day before, so the nearly 3 pound release was very welcomed!

With the hcg protocol, you must weigh in every morning when you first get up. On the mornings I take my son to Seminary, I come back home & catch an extra hour of sleep, so I don't do this right away, but I'm sure it's not affecting the numbers at all. One of the things this protocol teaches, which is contrary to nearly every other program out there, is you must weigh in daily. This, they claim, is how you can keep the weight off permanently. If you're aware of a gain, on a daily basis, you're more likely to take care of it before it gets out of hand, is the thought.

Anyway, I'm celebrating today! Not with a sweet treat, like I normally would, but with a nice big salad & maybe a juicy apple. :)

My new loves

I can't get over how much I really love apples. And asparagus. I wonder if they taste good together.

Today I made an omlet for brunch with 1 egg + 2 egg whites, asparagus spears, some salt, pepper, & onion powder, & a bit of salsa on top. Can I just say how absolutely delicious this was!? YUMM-O!!

Also, I decided to give the soup bidness another shot after taking a friends advice on another brand of broth & finding the sodium content to be much lower than the "low sodium" version of the big name brands. I made some more of that delicious asparagus chicken soup. I put a little too much cayenne in, but it was still delicious!

Since I rarely measure anything, I'll give approximates for the ingredients.

3.5 oz. chicken, cooked & cubed

3/4-1 c. fresh, cut asparagus spears (about 8 spears)

1 c. chicken broth

1 c. water

1 bay leaf
1/8 tsp. Italian spice blend

1 tsp. red curry powder

1/4 tsp. cumin

1 tsp. chopped garlic

1 tsp. chopped onion

Dash of cayenne pepper

Simmer spices & broth mix for 20 min. before adding chicken & asparagus. Simmer for another 3-5 min., remove bay leaf, & serve. This portion is for 1 serving.

Very filling & yummy! Enjoy! :)