What!? It's been more than a year??

It's hard to believe it's been so long since I've updated this blog about my progress.

I'm sad to report that the HCG Protocol didn't work for me. At least not the way I had dreamed. HCG will help you lose weight, no doubt, but what it won't do is help you keep it off.

By last October, I was down a total of 80 pounds. Today, I'm only down about 30 pounds. In 6 months I gained back 50 pounds! Talk about a yo-yo! Not good, I know. I now see where my mistake was. It's the same thing that would've made having gastric bypass a big mistake. I hadn't learned how to eat right. Portion control was a foreign concept to me. Making a conscious decision to choose what I eat, versus what's available & fast, was something I hadn't fully grasped.

All along, I had planned to join Weight Watchers after I had lost most of the weight. I knew I had to learn some skills, I just didn't know I needed them before I began my HCG journey.

I've finally decided to get my act together, utilize the tools available to me, & try again. I don't consider my gaining back so much weight to be a failure. I know the only way I fail is if I give up & give in. I joined Weight Watchers a few months ago, went to a handful of meetings, saw exactly what I was paying for, deemed it a waste of money (who needs someone trying to sell me the next great thing in body sculpting? I'll pay for nutrition classes, but not to be sold a gadget or gizmo, thankyouverymuch), & I'm working the system on my own. I'm still doing the program, only I'm not paying for the meetings or the online tools I never would use.

I'm only down 12 pounds so far, but I wasn't really serious about until about a month ago. And progress is progress!

The best news is, I've had a change in the way I think about food. It's a turning point for me. "Food is fuel, not fun. " (kind of like another favorite saying "Fish are friends, not food", only without the fish. haha) I have committed myself to making better choices in the things I put in to my body & also my family members bodies. My 8 year old chose to be a vegetarian about 2 years ago, & I've decided he's on to something. So for the past 5 weeks I've been meat-free. I love seeing all the gorgeous colors of fruits & veggies that adorn my counter & I'm trying so many new things I never thought I'd try, let alone like!

Life is GOOD! :)

One-derland

It's so close, I can almost taste it!! A mere 5 more pounds & I'm THERE! I'm hoping tomorrow brings loss greater than 1 pound. I want it. Bad. It's been a while, it seems, & I'm just ready to move on to phase 3. I want cheese. Bad.

Lacking in the Math Department

I didn't think I was that bad at math until recently. I've been miscalculating my weight loss numbers, so the other day's 10 pound loss was actually more like 9. I know, I know... it's these 10th's of a pound that are throwing me off, I think. Someone needs to let the scale makers know there are 16 ounces in a pound & they need to make a scale that reflects this new knowledge. I guess reading down to 1/10th of a pound is better than the alternative of 1 pound increments. *GASP!!*

So, here are my new numbers.


As of this morning, I'm on my 8th day of the VLCD & I'm down 11 pounds. (!!!)

Amazingly, I not only made some really yummy looking raspberry cookie bars, as well as some to-die-for white chocolate chip macadamia nut cookies for last night's book club I was hosting, but I managed to send off the leftovers with the husband to work today, to share with his co-workers today, without even a teeny morsel crossing my lips.

See that Kit Kat & Twix in the front... yeah, THAT'S what I'm talkin' 'bout!

Last night my dreams were about food. All night. Cookies, & cakes, & all things that are good (bad). Yesterday, I visited Freed's Bakery just to look around, inhale the sweetness that engulfs you the moment you open the door. Heaven, I tell you! I actually found myself looking (drooling) at the cookies in the glass cases, mentally trying to come up with an excuse for being in there. The girl behind the counter was on the phone, so thankfully I had both time to drool & time to come up with a creative excuse for my presence while not walking out with something (or an order for something) in my hands. Maybe this was the cause of such torturous dreams.

Note to self: Don't visit the best cakery in town when you're on a diet.

We'll Just Call It 10

This morning's weigh in revealed another 2 pounds gone! Forever!! I haven't been at this weight in over 8 years!



So that makes the total now 9.6 pounds, which as you know from a prior confession, I'm a rounder when it comes to the scale. Considering that's only based on 4 days of restraint (& if we're being honest here, I wasn't perfect yesterday... more on that later), I'm very pleased! This time in my last round with hcg I only down 6 pounds.

So yesterday I was out running around with kids & picked up a protein-style double-double (with no cheese, hold the sauce & tomato, with some onion, a teeny bit of ketchup, & some mustard) from In-N-Out Burger for lunch. Can I just say how incredibly YUMMY that was!? We're allowed 3.5 ounces of lean ground beef & that's about right with this burger. My no-no was mixing my veggies. Since it was wrapped in lettuce, I should've skipped on the onion, but who eats a burger without some onion slices on there!? Well, besides the husband, that is...

I'm excited for 8 a.m. tomorrow!! :D

Coconut: How Do I Love Thee?...

This drawing is entitled "Coconut Dreams"... it took me a sec to get it, but gave me a chuckle when I finally did. :)

And miss thee!!

What I wouldn't give for my new favorite night time crunchy snack right about now!? Coconut is so good for you, yet it isn't on protocol. So my recently acquired habit of buying 2 coconuts every few days (& my kids' hysterical laughter at my efforts to find the easiest way to crack one... it's seriously a show they gather to watch around here) must wait for another month or so.

Young coconuts are the bees knees! They aren't found at most grocery stores, but are worth the trek to Whole Foods or (if you're lucky enough to have one in your area) Trader Joes. The juice, of a young coconut is packed FULL of electrolytes & the meat is naturally fat-free & is really delicious.

This ends my (not) paid plug for the consumption of coconuts. :P

P.S. I'm down another 3.4 lbs. as of this morning! :D

Phase 4

I haven't posted in a while mainly because I really haven't had any updates for my wild fan base. ;o) So, though it's not much, here's what I have for you...

I've moved on to phase 4 of the protocol, where I get to slowly add starches & sugars back in to my diet. So far I've been maintaining my weight loss really well. I'm a week in to phase 4 now, & I'm really looking forward to getting back to the weight loss portion of the protocol (phase 2). :)

I'm pretty sure I've said this before but, for a big girl, losing 34 pounds doesn't look like much. I'm just *so* ready to get to a point where I can start noticing a difference. All I see in the mirror right now is a leeetle bit smaller head on a still overly-large frame. I can understand why 34 pounds may not look like much of a difference, but when I think of the difference I'll see when I hit the 60 pound mark... that excites me!

Then maybe I can justify buying some new clothes. Maybe. It's hard to imagine spending a bunch of money on things for myself. I'm the crazy lady at the store who picks out something for herself & winds up putting it back (okay, so most of the time it doesn't actually make it back to its home), having talked myself out of it, if I spend too much time with it in my cart before it's time to pay for my purchases.

Am I the only one?

Enjoyed My First Steak Day!

Okay, so not really. Because who really wants to be forced to drink water until you're floating, then for dinner force down as much steak as you can stomach!? Not me, I learned yesterday. Not me.


During this phase of the protocol, a.k.a. Phase 3 (P3, for all you hcg'ers), if you go more than 2.1 pounds over your last injection weight (LIW), you have to do what's called a "steak day". Drink as much water as you can stand all day, then for dinner you have the largest steak you can find along with an apple or a raw tomato. The next morning, you'll find yourself back where you need to be.



I admit it worked. Really well, actually. I was down 2.8 pounds this morning, which is .4 pounds below my LIW. Now I know my body can't handle the two bowls of broccoli cheese soup I naughtily ate the day before I wound up with a steak day. Good to know. Though I kind of already guessed it might be a problem.

Holding steady

I'm back visiting the wall, unfortunately, but I'm doing alright. I'm holding steady at just under 28 pounds lost in 28 days of doing the protocol.

I've had a few people wonder how I plan to keep it all from coming back after I'm done with the very low calorie part of the protocol. Though I have to admit I'm more of a "hoper" than a believer, according to Dr. Simeons (the man who discovered the relationship between weight loss & hcg) if you do this just the way he's instructed, you are resetting your body weight to this new weight.

It has something to do with the hypothalmus gland in your brain &, though I can't remember the exact details, he claims you can maintain the weight loss for life as long as you are committing yourself to changing your eating habits for life. And this is the plan.

I don't want to be unhealthy for the rest of my life! I want to LIVE it, not just be a spectator. I'm sure those of you who've dealt with weight problems can totally relate. It's time to kick this thing in the sweet spot & that's exactly what I'm doing here. I'm giving myself a boost & a head start with this protocol.

So far, I've lost a dress size or so. My sweetheart can see a difference, though I really can't. I haven't spent enough time in front of a mirror for the past 10+ years to be able to notice a difference. I've been avoiding them, for obvious reasons.

I'm thrilled to be where I'm at so far. Only about 2 more weeks left on this portion of the protocol, then on to Phase 3 where I get to add a lot of other foods back in to my diet (pretty much everything but starches & sugars). That will last for 3 weeks & then I'll move on to Phase 4. In Phase 4, I will slowly start adding starches & sugars back in to my diet. After 3 weeks of this, I can go back on the protocol for another 5+ weeks to try to lose another 30+ pounds.

Last night we had a few friends come over & the husband referred to my weight loss as "a lot". Afterwards I had to explain to him why he shouldn't do that anymore. Being a big girl, it takes dropping a lot of weight to actually see a difference, & 27 pounds just isn't a lot. Not at my size. I'm afraid people will feel badly for not noticing (which they really shouldn't... I just know I would if someone said they'd lost a lot of weight & I couldn't tell), or worse that they'll start noticing. I hate being the center of attention. Ever.

I'm a Rounder

I'll confess it now. The only thing I ever round is my weight loss. And only if it's being rounded up. If I'm two ounces away from having lost 19 pounds, I'm calling it 19 pounds. When the husband rounds things (the time, mainly) it irritates me to no end. But since it's my weight loss, I'm allowing rounding. ;o)

So, as of this morning, I'm down 19 whole, stinkin' pounds!! I had gained a pound a few days ago, then yesterday was stalled at the same weight as the day before, so the nearly 3 pound release was very welcomed!

With the hcg protocol, you must weigh in every morning when you first get up. On the mornings I take my son to Seminary, I come back home & catch an extra hour of sleep, so I don't do this right away, but I'm sure it's not affecting the numbers at all. One of the things this protocol teaches, which is contrary to nearly every other program out there, is you must weigh in daily. This, they claim, is how you can keep the weight off permanently. If you're aware of a gain, on a daily basis, you're more likely to take care of it before it gets out of hand, is the thought.

Anyway, I'm celebrating today! Not with a sweet treat, like I normally would, but with a nice big salad & maybe a juicy apple. :)

The price of deliciousness

Yesterday, I threw together a new recipe of some of my favorite (& allowable) things. I took a 14 oz. can of garlic chicken broth & added 3.5 ounces of chopped chicken, & about 1 cup of chopped, steamed asparagus, & some extra spices. It was DELICIOUS!!

Unfortunately, it caused me to gain a pound at this morning's weigh in. :(

I didn't think to check the sodium content until well after I ate it. Lesson learned. No more soup for me, unless I can find a mostly fat free & low sodium broth that isn't filled with MSG & other junk. While I find myself slightly bummed, I'm not surprised. I'm grateful for the lesson. :)

Acknowledging the struggle

It's good to want for things, I've decided. It's certainly not easy when it's a seemingly unceasing stream of thoughts about the food in the next room, but it's good to have opposition to struggle with. If not, I'd have nothing to overcome!

I took the advice of one of your comments & took to exercising when my stress level & anxiety over the banana nut bread in the other room (calling my name!) took hold of me. Can I just say I feel so much better!

I'll need these coping techniques in the future when things like yummy banana nut bread are allowed again. I'm glad I tried it out & saw that instead of digging in & making a pig of myself, I can handle these moments differently & come away feeling much better than before.

New routine, new struggles

I definitely feel like Cookie today!!

This is so sad to say, but I have never stopped to realize why I eat. I've never been one for restraint in many areas of my life, least of all with food (obviously). So, as these realizations come to me I think I'll list them here to help myself figure out what my triggers are & remind myself later when I may forget to watch out for these traps.

Today my trigger is my 15 year old, recently returned to be homeschooled, son. I've heard it said that people tend to eat when they're stressed, I just didn't realize it applied to me until today. My son's behavior is upsetting me today & I find the temptation to eat whatever I can get my hands on (sans grub worms & chicken wings) to be more of a struggle than usual.

I know this will get easier over time. It's good to know what to look out for, though.

What are your triggers?

P.S. I'm down another pound, as of this morning! :)

I hate thinking about food...

I prefer to just EAT IT!! Whatever & whenever. Guess that's what got me to this point.

The mind games are in full swing. It's on like Donkey Kong!

Another LOSS!

Yesterday's post of a pig represented my first load day (the day prior). If I were being totally honest about yesterday's monumental effort to consume as much crappy stuff as I could, it would look more like this:

Wow, you say? Yeah, me too. It was MISERABLE!

I wound up with another loss, only this time it was down .12 ounces from yesterday's weigh-in. You'll hear no complaining from me! That's over a pound loss in 2 days! I just hope it doesn't come back to bite me in the toosh.

I managed to get some alone time with my sweetheart & we took our dog Ginger on a walk. We went 3.1 miles & wore out the poor girl! (the dog, too) It took us a whole hour, which seems kind of long for that distance. We weren't walking slow, either.

Today is my first day of the very low calorie diet & so far it's going good. I had some crackers sitting in front of me, looking at me in that way they do, but I didn't cave. I put them away & cut up an apple for breakfast. I know it's only the first hours of the first day, but I'm feeling really good today!

Must have done something wrong...

'cause my scale read 0.6 ounces less than yesterday! Normally that kind of a loss in 1 day would thrill me, but you're actually supposed to gain a bit in the first two days of pig-out-dom. It's almost laughable that I could lose after what I ate yesterday! I really was a pig.

For breakfast I had 6 pieces of turkey bacon & a few bites of jello. For lunch I had Chicken Cordon Bleu & about a cup of mac & cheese (the latter was forced... I really hate mac & cheese, but thought it was worthy of my fat-filled-food quest). For dinner I had Country Fried Steak with mashed potatoes & gravy, & some broccoli, carrots, & cauliflower steamed with cheese sauce.

See, I really did pig out. Must. do. better. today. LOL

Day 1

I started the HCG injections this morning. I took note of my weight & measurements, then compared it to last October when I last started this diet but failed miserably. I'm up 12 pounds from when I ended it, which isn't surprising yet I feel somewhat disappointed in myself for packing on that much weight in a mere 3 months time.


The good news is, I don't weigh as much as I ever have! That gives me something to smile about. :)


For the first 2 days of injections, I get to do something called "loading". In this phase, you get to eat as much fatty foods as you can stomach. I struggle with this part, but I understand it's necessary to get the best results. The "loading" signals your hypothalamus to get ready to burn excess fat, so that when the real calorie intake reduction happens on days 3-40 you're not left feeling hungry. And from my experience, you really don't experience hunger with this protocol. In fact, there were some days I found myself not eating as much as I should & having to fit more in at the end of the day.


Enough about the protocol, though. If you want to learn more, here's the info directly from the horses mouth: Dr. Simeons. Scroll down on the page to read "Pounds & Inches".


So, my starting weight is (break out those glasses) 258.4, & my first big goal is to lose 40 pounds by the time my brother Grant gets home from his mission to the Philippines in early April.

The Reward

After 11 (whole) minutes spent on my glider-exercise-contraption-thingy comes the reward. Before even minute 3 rolls around, my chest is burning with each breath... yes, I'm that out of shape... but I hang in there for the sweet reward of some Kanye West's "Golddigger". Not only does my stride lengthen at the onset of this song, but my neck also gets a workout from all the Kanye-esque neck jerking that goes on.

So, I guess that's my first in an assuredly long list of embarrassing confessions.

No, I don't love Kanye. Yes, he's a pig-jerk. No, I really don't love the words to the song. But there's something about that beat that makes me want to move! Kind of like Prince's "Kiss".

So, how about you? What songs move you?