Nearing the end of this round

Yesterday was my 40th injection for this round, so today & tomorrow I'm sticking with the 500 calorie plan, then on Tuesday I'm moving on to Phase 3. In P3, I get to re-introduce all kinds of goodies! On the very top of my list is:

• coconut
• cheese
• nuts
• anything other than chicken!

I'm almost as giddy as a school girl at the thought of Tuesday night's book club, where fabulous fondue will be served. :D :D :D

So, for this round, I lost a total of 33 pounds, on the nose. My losses were a little slower this round, but the results are still amazing! So far I'm down 60 pounds since January!!

Wednesday is my 9 year anniversary with my best friend & sweetheart. We'll be celebrating by heading to the Temple to do some family sealings & remember the covenants we made with one another so many years ago. Afterward, we'll go to some nice restaurant where I plan to enjoy a delicious steak & my company. :)

The almost ironic part of it all is, as anxious as I was to make my way in to the 100's with this round, my scale didn't agree with me. At yesterday morning's weigh in (my last injection weight or LIW), I was 200.2. I kind of feel like someone's pulled a fast one on me or something, being *that* close, but I'm okay with it. It just means that in 7 more weeks, the only numbers I'll be seeing on the scale from now on, FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE (!!), will start with a '1'. Now that I can live with! :D


Though the disembodied head is a little creepy, this t-shirt embodies my thoughts. And though it's taken more than just thought to get me half way there, that's exactly where I find myself. I'm half way to my long-term goal! Sixty pounds down, another sixty to go.

Upon reflection, I find I have a lot more faith in my ability to do good things for myself than ever before. I've heard it said, & even repeated it more than a few times, "if you think you can, you can, and if you think you can't, you can't". In this battle to find myself, regain my health, build my faith, & begin to fully realize that I can do so much better (& that I'm deserving of so much better than I'm used to), my attitude is vitally important! Combined with hard work, & of course prayer, I can do anything! :D

One-derland

It's so close, I can almost taste it!! A mere 5 more pounds & I'm THERE! I'm hoping tomorrow brings loss greater than 1 pound. I want it. Bad. It's been a while, it seems, & I'm just ready to move on to phase 3. I want cheese. Bad.

8.6 pounds in 8 days?

Can I do it? I'm certainly going to try. I only have 8.6 pounds left to go until I hit my short-term goal of 34 pounds gone forever in this current round of hcg.

Just around the corner is a phrase I stole from other bloggers... one-derland! I'm only 8 pounds away from kissing the 200's goodbye forever!

I was thinking about this the other day while in the shower (it's where I do my best thinking, for those of you who wanted to know); I'm going through my options & thinking about the future. I know I won't maintain this weight I've lost if I return to my old habits when I finish with the diet. When all is said & done, I plan to join Weight Watchers. I know that sounds kind of backwards, but really it's just for the knowledge more than it would be for further weight loss. Plus, I told my husband I want a gym membership for Mother's Day. And I want him to join me with that membership.

A gym membership isn't likely on the top of the list for other mother's, but I'm fairly practical & it's something I've been wanting for a long time now, so it seems ideal for me. Plus, I figure if I get one & start getting more in shape, the husband will follow suit.

If I can get these last 8+ pounds off quickly, the sooner I can start using that membership! :)

That Felt Good!

For the past few weeks, I've been slowly putting all my kids' winter clothes away & setting aside all the clothes that won't fit them in the fall. Tonight I decided to begin putting my "fat clothes" away. Just the ones that are the worst offenders... I really hate having to constantly adjust my tops so they aren't showing off my goods & roll the waist of my pants down just to keep them up. I suppose I could invest in a belt (I haven't owned one of those for years!), but many of my clothes are now about 3 sizes too big, so I thought it best to just begin phasing them out.

I managed to fill an entire box! Just my clothes!

I plan to store them in the garage, cuz I'm paranoid like that, but they are no longer gracing my closet hangers with their droopy-selves. :D That feels really good.

VLCD25

After deciding not to pay attention to the days as they pass (it makes being on the diet a bit harder if you're aware of exactly what day you're on at all times) when I log my daily weigh-ins, I was pleasantly surprised to find I'm on day 25 of the very low calorie portion of the diet. :) As of this morning, I'm down 21.6 pounds!

My losses have slowed dramatically over the past week & a half, after my period graced me with its presence a whole 2 weeks early, so I'm hoping to get back up there in the 1 pound loss per day average again soon.


Another thing that I haven't been keeping track of is my total weight loss since starting the protocol in January, so when I was thinking about it the other day I figured up that I've lost nearly 50 pounds since I began this journey less than 4 months ago!! Amazingly, I'm 60 pounds lighter than I was this time last year. Just typing that makes me smile. :D


My clothes are looking pretty baggy on me these days. Since I decided I wouldn't go out & spend a bunch of money on new clothes until I was finished with this round, I instead went out & spent it on a new 'do. :) For years now I've wanted to put a little color in my hair, yet was never brave enough to take the plunge. I've done some crazy things with my hair in the past (going through cosmetology school umpteen years ago will do that, along with supporting a friend & raising money for St. Baldricks & shaving it off entirely a few years back), so this little streak of color shouldn't have seemed like such a big deal. Well I finally took the plunge & let my little wild streak show on the outside, instead of just tamping it down on the inside like I tend to do.




The little girls in my class at Church yesterday were very sweet with all their compliments. There mothers, not so much. ;) (no one had anything bad to say, but I did get some looks) That's alright though... I'm happy with it & I'm glad I finally did it.

Half Way There!

My current goal is to lose another 34 pounds & as of this morning I'm currently down 18 pounds. Due to gaining some weight between rounds, a bit of incorrect math in the first round, & my loading days, I'm not down 52 pounds like I should be, but just under 45 pounds.

45 pounds!

I feel really good about that number. And I'm starting to notice a difference in the shape of my face, which I'm very pleased about. I used to be a pretty girl. I even found proof (albeit kind of ragged looking) a few months ago, when I stumbled across my senior picture!



I know even if I got back down to my high school weight, I would never look like that again. Things have shifted over the years. I've had 4 children & nursed them all. The girls aren't where they once were. But I'm okay with that & I embrace it. I just want to be healthy again. :)

Lacking in the Math Department

I didn't think I was that bad at math until recently. I've been miscalculating my weight loss numbers, so the other day's 10 pound loss was actually more like 9. I know, I know... it's these 10th's of a pound that are throwing me off, I think. Someone needs to let the scale makers know there are 16 ounces in a pound & they need to make a scale that reflects this new knowledge. I guess reading down to 1/10th of a pound is better than the alternative of 1 pound increments. *GASP!!*

So, here are my new numbers.


As of this morning, I'm on my 8th day of the VLCD & I'm down 11 pounds. (!!!)

Amazingly, I not only made some really yummy looking raspberry cookie bars, as well as some to-die-for white chocolate chip macadamia nut cookies for last night's book club I was hosting, but I managed to send off the leftovers with the husband to work today, to share with his co-workers today, without even a teeny morsel crossing my lips.

See that Kit Kat & Twix in the front... yeah, THAT'S what I'm talkin' 'bout!

Last night my dreams were about food. All night. Cookies, & cakes, & all things that are good (bad). Yesterday, I visited Freed's Bakery just to look around, inhale the sweetness that engulfs you the moment you open the door. Heaven, I tell you! I actually found myself looking (drooling) at the cookies in the glass cases, mentally trying to come up with an excuse for being in there. The girl behind the counter was on the phone, so thankfully I had both time to drool & time to come up with a creative excuse for my presence while not walking out with something (or an order for something) in my hands. Maybe this was the cause of such torturous dreams.

Note to self: Don't visit the best cakery in town when you're on a diet.

Realizations

This time last year, I was working towards jumping through all the hoops my insurance company required to approve the gastric bypass surgery I was hoping to have done. It felt like a long, arduous task, but I managed to make it through the required period of time & in to the doctor's office for the consultation.

While there, I spoke with a counselor who gave me some very good advice. She opened my eyes to something I hadn't truly considered before. If I wasn't ready to change my lifestyle, I would be doing myself a disservice by going forward with this surgery. All patients will lose weight. This was not the issue. The issue was unless I make a complete lifestyle change, spending at least 30 minutes a day in exercise, eating nutritious foods, being constantly conscious of what I put in to my body, I had better count on gaining almost all (if not all & then some, if history truly does repeat itself) the weight back within 5 years of this surgery.

I also realized gastric bypass is a last ditch effort. It's for people who have tried everything else, & nothing has worked. I realized it's taking the hard way out. Big time. I've watched three of my family members, who have had various versions of this surgery, deal with a plethora of side effects from a very serious problem with a stricture, to dumping (you don't want to know), to blood infections, to constant hunger... pretty much almost every possible side effect listed except death.

Knowing all this, I was still headed down that same road. I was sick & tired of being sick & tired all the time. I wanted to lose the weight so badly, yet every time I did I would quickly gain all of it back plus an extra 10 or 15 new "friends" would come join the party. I was willing to do just about anything to fix this.

After speaking with the counselor, I realized I had some "me" things to work on before I could go ahead with the surgery. This was last summer when I met with her. My next appointment in that office would have been for the post-op check up. I was so close to finally making this happen. It's what I'd been working towards for so many long months before! It was at that point I completely backed away from it. I needed to work on me. I couldn't go through with it, knowing I hadn't made that committment to a lifestyle change yet, only to cause myself further hardship by going through with the surgery. And I'm so glad I didn't go through with it.

Today, I realized something new. I don't qualify for the surgery anymore. With the work I've been doing, trying to get my life (weight, self-control, etc.) back in my own hands, I couldn't get my insurance company to pay for this surgery even if I wanted it! I don't meet the qualifications anymore. The only one I ever met was the one concerning BMI. Thankfully, I have no health conditions that would qualify me for this. That is to say, I didn't have them yet. With what I've been doing, my chances of dealing with those weight-related health issues have dropped dramatically. And the more I work, the less my chances are of EVER having to deal with them.

To me, this is much greater news than any number on the scale! For the first time in a long time, I feel like I know where I'm going. And I like it. :)

A BIG day, a BIG deal

Today I took my final injection for this round. When I last posted, I planned for today to be my last injection day anyway. However, the morning after my last post showed a 1.8 pound loss, so I changed my mind about stopping early & decided I'd talk the husband in to taking me out for fondue instead.

I'm telling you, seeing a nice drop on the scale is ADDICTIVE!!

I had a small loss the following day, but this morning I woke up to another BIG loss. 3.8 pounds! Thank you stomach bug!! :P This unpleasant episode actually caused me to lose enough to get me to the magic number ~ 34 pounds.
After re-reading Pounds & Inches today, the guidelines are 40 injections, or 34 pounds is where you should stop your current round. I reached the 34 pounds in 38 days (not bad!) & so today I'm done with this portion of the protocol. I get to move on to CHEESE!!! I get to have that scrumptious fondue after all! :D Hello, Tuesday (& some of the funnest group of girls out there), here I come!



I feel like I've accomplished something big. I know I've said this before, but I'm really feeling it today. It's a big day for me! :D Though I know I won't reach my goal of losing 40 pounds by April 1st (when my little brother comes home from his mission), I'm very pleased with how far I've come.

Six days & counting!

I've been on this protocol since January 13th & to date I've lost 29 pounds. The daily losses have slowed down drastically & I'm thinking my body's saying "this is the best you're going to get this round". :o)

I'm planning to stop my injections on Saturday (early than I had originally planned) & the diet part will end on Tuesday. I've decided to be selfish & indulge in the amazingly delish cheese fondue that will be had at this month's Mom's Book Club meeting for our homeschool group. Since I can't do this until I've moved on to Phase 3, Tuesday will be the big day.

In Phase 3, you're allowed to eat anything except sugars (not the naturally occuring kind) & starches. This portion of the protocol only lasts 3 weeks, after which I'm able to slowly reintroduce sugars & starches. I have to say, I cannot wait to eat some CHEESE! I've missed it's deliciousness more than I ever thought I could! And I'm sick to death of chicken.

Though there's still a long way to go, I feel like I've accomplished something big, for me. It makes me feel so good to think about that. :)

As hard as it's been some days, I'm so grateful I did this. No matter how much weight I lost or didn't lose, I showed myself I'm capable of taking control of my desires. I'm stronger than any craving. I'm worth the effort, for effort it has been. I've never been good at self control & often thought it was something I really didn't possess (at least when it came to food), so this experience has taught me a lot & I'm thankful for it. And I'm as eager as a beaver to get to do it again in another 7 weeks! :D